On a warm day in May 2007, I decided to take a leap of faith. I had spent the last 25+ years of my life in denial about how much damage bullying had done to me. Well, denial is a bit difficult to say. I had really spent the last 25+ years in denial about the long-term effects (Complex-PTSD) that a youth filled with bullying and a lack of adult understanding had caused me.
I had spent the last 25+ years telling anyone that would listen that I act the way I did, because of the youth bullying that happened to me. I was an angry, bitter, stressed, anxiety ridden, low self-esteem person. I thought that writing all the stories you can read below would somehow cure this person, who blamed all his faults on the bullying that happened to me. I was living in this past.
So I wrote the stories you can read below down on my first website. Then, I started sharing others stories, which you can also find on this website. Then I started to share statistics and speak publicly about my stories. But, I still didn’t deal with me and my issues. The original website became very popular and used in schools. But I still felt the feelings mentioned above and then I lost happiness (depression set in).
It was time to get help, so I did. I received professional help and did huge amounts of self-help. I changed many parts of my life around and started to live my Authentic Life and discover who I am. Once I felt completely better about me and realized that the past could not be changed and change is from within, I decided to commit to working further on the issue of bullying and youth abuse recovery.
Cut to today. My first goal after getting better was to write a memoir about what I had been through. I spent ten years wanting to write this book, but I didn’t have the ending. After getting help, I had my ending. I wrote my memoir called “A Ladder In The Dark: My Journey from Bullying to Self Acceptance”. That was quite cathartic and I am so glad that I did that. The book has done well and I hear from many people that it helps them as well.
I then started this site you are on and my business “Bullying Recovery, LLC”. I now work to speak to groups about bullying and recovery from bullying and C-PTSD. I have never felt better or more healthy. I want to help others to do the same. As you read the stories on this part of the site, I only ask that you remember that I wrote these before my recovery on my old site. I needed to share them and here they are. Some are inspirational and some are painful. As you read them, know that part of me is on the page, but that it can get better. For me, it has and none of us are ever alone in what we go through. That much I’ve learned.
I’ll leave this intro with these thoughts from Eleanor Roosevelt: Yesterday is history. Tomorrow a Mystery. Today is a Gift. And that’s why it’s called The Present.