Being Present to Plan the Future

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
John F. Kennedy

I am currently in the last steps of becoming a Certified Life Coach. This is the end of a long process for me of realizing that, not only did I want my life to move forward away from my past of the pain and C-PTSD of youth bullying, but also of my wanting to help others move forward.

As I think about my life and career choices, I realize that this destiny is one that was always there for me, but I wasn’t ready to embrace it, to embrace the idea that I can achieve a future that I want. As I work through the certification program and journey I am on, it is so ironic how much I have learned over the last few years is right there in the lessons I am learning. Even Dr. David Burns Twisted Thinking Styles that I have been talking about for years is actually in one of the lessons to use with future clients.

I believe more today in faith and destiny than I ever have in my past life. I was just letting life happen and not accepting my responsibility for being stuck or not being content, if not happy, with the direction my life was going. Maybe you are in the same spot. So, I thought I would share some lessons or at least take away from this learning process.

  1.  You can’t set goals for the future unless you are mentally prepared to let go of the past and move forward. The job of a Life Coach is to help people move from their present point to a future point through planning and goals. If you are still stuck in the past and have not worked through that, then you need a Therapist, for a Coach is about looking forward and helping you get there. A Therapist looks at your past to see your current situation.
  2. No one can get you to know your goals but you. A Coach can help ask questions and guide you to a focused goal, but you have to be able to think thorough and set them, based on what you want. But, you have to want to get there and do the homework that will be needed to make that happen.
  3. A Coach can get you UNSTUCK. We all get stuck in our lives at times. Maybe it is situational or maybe it is just something you need, but being stuck and not knowing how to get out can be frustrating. A Coach can help you find ways to move forward and there is great satisfaction both for you and the coach through this interaction.
  4. Coaching has a hard ending. When you reach your goal or have a plan, your relationship with needing coaching can end. Unlike mental illness support, it is supposed to end and coaches should plan for that as well as you. It doesn’t mean you don’t want more coaching, it would just be on a new topic.

I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to be able to begin my journey in life coaching and being able to help people. The other great thing about coaching is that it can be done remotely. If you think that you would be interested in me as a coach, just send an email to It doesn’t have to be about bullying, but I will have a niche in youth abuse coaching. I know it has helped me and I hope that, if you would like, I can also help you. Until then, have a great life and live it the way you planned.

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About Alan Eisenberg

Alan Eisenberg is a Certified Life Coach, Bullying Recovery activist and author of "A Ladder In The Dark: My journey from bullying to self-acceptance" and "Crossing the Line". He has been writing and speaking to various audiences about the issue of C-PTSD and Bullying Recovery. Mr. Eisenberg has been featured on several print, radio shows and podcasts on this issue, including NPR and in the Boston Globe. He is currently working toward his Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling.
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