Using Music as a Bullying Recovery Method

street man walking
In the darkness before the dawn. In the swirling of the storm. When I’m rolling with the punches and hope is gone. Leave a light a light on. ~Coldplay (“Midnight”)

Recently science, once again, studied something I felt in my heart I already knew; that music has a psychological and physiological effect on us to soothe sadness, depression, and anxiety and strengthens self-esteem. All of these feelings are ones that many bullying survivors have when working to recovery from the long-term damage bullying can cause. I know that I use it many times to fight a day of blues or just correct my thinking when my monkey brain is trying to influence how I feel. It is another form of mindfulness and thought correction that you can use in your arsenal of coping tools.

Ironically, this week, I interviewed singing artists, MarieLine, on my podcast Healthy U. Her podcast show will be available this Wednesday on my podcast page. MarieLine wrote a song called Take Me Away that is about the bullying she endured and one she wants to see as an anthem for others to have who deal with bullying.

As I talked to MarieLine, I recalled many songs that helped me through some hard times. I am a child of the 80’s, so don’t apologize for many of my favorite therapy songs being from that era. Hopefully, you’ll understand and agree they are worth a listen and maybe even add them to songs that help you. Here are my top five songs I listen to when feeling like I need a psychological and physiological boost at times I feel low.

Talk to Me – Peter Gabriel
Ah please talk to me
Won’t you please talk to me
We can unlock this misery
Come on, come talk to me
I did not come to steal
This all is so unreal
Can’t you show me how you feel now
Come on, come talk to me
Come talk to me, come talk to me

 

Fix You – Coldplay
When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

 

Pink – Perfect
Mistreated
Misplaced
Misunderstood
Miss no way it’s all good
It didn’t slow me down.

Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look I’m still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than
Less than perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You’re perfect to me

 

REM – Everybody Hurts
If you’re on your own
In this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you’ve had too much
Of this life
To hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
You are not alone

 

 

MarieLine – Take Me Away
Growing up it wasn’t easy
I didn’t fit in, I didn’t fit the mold
Friends I have to say I didn’t have many
They were too busy to make it feel so cold
One  day, you’ll see
I’ll be the person you want to be
But for now, I can’t look in the mirror

Take me away
Another life is not supposed to be
So hard to live and so hard to dream

 

I find great comfort in my favorite music. These songs should speak to the fact that you are not alone and that many, including big musical artists, have shared that this feeling you have is felt by many. That is what brings me comfort and grounds me when I need it. I hope you have your own favorites or hear the lyrics in these songs to find your own playlist that helps set you at ease when you are feeling low or just need a self-esteem boost.

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About Alan Eisenberg

Alan Eisenberg is a Certified Life Coach, Bullying Recovery activist and author of "A Ladder In The Dark: My journey from bullying to self-acceptance" and "Crossing the Line". He has been writing and speaking to various audiences about the issue of C-PTSD and Bullying Recovery. Mr. Eisenberg has been featured on several print, radio shows and podcasts on this issue, including NPR and in the Boston Globe. He is currently working toward his Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling.
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2 Comments

  1. Some fantastic songs here, Alan! 🙂

    Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas & Safe New Year (fm )

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