Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I’m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me. ~ Anne Hathaway
I was bullied but was also a bully-ally. It all started during my grade school, yes, the time where kids usually give time to play and enjoy the youthfulness. And as a kid, we all love to play with someone, or in groups with the same interests, and this is where the competition starts.
There was this new rich kid in town. She’s joyful, funny, and energetic but I could see that she seeks attention. She’s lonely. We were friends, and she often wants us to play at her house. She buys us some expensive snacks and lets us play her pricey toys. I have noticed as we frequently play at her house, she’s alone. When I asked her about her parents, she said that they are all busy at work. Though she has an elder sister and has some cousins living with her family, she is usually alone and maybe that is why she tends to invite us at her home.
After some months, she has become one of the most famous campus kid in our school. She has a lot of friends, and even teachers love her. And because she was already “famous,” her character changed. Yes, she still played with us but she acted differently. She hates it when she loses, she gets mad when she’s not the one who gets acknowledged. Even in class, she is so competitive that she even cheated just to defeat my best friend, the smartest in class, during quizzes. I and my best friend are not that sparkly – I mean we are not “famous” as we only have few friends, we only have each other at all times. We were already friends with the famous kid but as her character changed, we tried to keep our distance from her. Then the time came when the famous kid got mad with my best friend because she did not pass the exam as my best friend did not let her copy her answers. I and my best friend were dumbfounded about that. She was not like that. She then ignored us but did not end just like that. She then bullied my best friend, saying that she has four eyes since my best friend wear eyeglasses. Saying that we are poor and that we can’t afford expensive toys like those she owned. We were irritated and we have noticed that it was not just me and my best friend who got irritated by how the famous kid acts. But my best friend and I do not want to get involved in fights and just let those sentiments pass by. We were still friends with her but not until fifth grade. She became worst than ever.
A year later, another new kid came to our school. She is sweet and humble which envies the famous kid. The famous one got so irritated by the new kid with just her mere appearance. Until one time, the famous kid started a huge fight. She wrote something so bad about the new kid on the blackboard which broke to a fight. My best friend and I were allies with the famous kid that time. We asked the new kid to come with us in a secluded place outside the campus where the famous kid awaits for her. I can’t believe I did that though. We just did that because we were afraid that the famous kid would also fight against us. So, we brought her to the planned place. Upon arriving, the famous kid ran towards her and slapped her hard on her face. She pulled her hair, her uniform and the worst, she punched her on her chest. The new kid fell down, and we noticed she was having a hard time to breath but we did not care and just left her there, alone. The next day, her parents came. They were asking who bullied their kid. The famous one confidently raised her arm. Yes, she was not afraid. The parents asked why she did that. The famous one answered with her head held high, “I hate her. I don’t like her,” the parents were shocked about this straightforward answer. They then counseled with the famous kid with the school principal. They tried to fix the issue between the two kids, it was a long ride but eventually, they became friends. We all became friends.
Now that I have only recalled this past experience, I could say that bullies hate to be alone. They hate when nobody notices them. Without friends, no one to talk to, no one to play with, they really hate that. That is why they tend to fight others to control other people by fear. Showing that they are strong and brave to persuade others to be on their side. With the famous kid, she badly seeks attention because even at home, she was alone. Her parents are not with her all the time, they were not there when she needs someone to talk to. Yes her parents were working hard for her to give her everything she wants but they have forgotten to give her the essential thing a parent could give without any cost, time. It was what she really needs.
Parents should give time with their kids. Even just by eating with them during meals, kissing them goodnight before sleeping, or even just by slacking off at home. The greatest gift you can give someone is your time because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back. And just as what the quote says, “Time has a wonderful way of showing us what it really matters.”
~Joy Deloso, Bullyout